pretty little liars s1: normalizing age gaps with minors?

there are way too many relationships with minors in this

Recently I started rewatching the show Pretty Little Liars because I thought it would be fun to revisit the show I liked as a teen. I’ve made it through the whole first season, and it was definitely a different experience this time. For one, the first time I watched it I was the age of the girls — in the middle of high school. Now, I’m closer to the age of some of the love interests, such as Ezra, which makes these relationships all the more unsettling.

*mild spoilers ahead*

from wikipedia

I forgot how many times there is an 18+ boy dating a minor. Two of the girls date a college boy when they’re about 14, and then 16 year old Aria is dating her new teacher (who I’m assuming is mid 20’s). Oh, and a man old enough to be in medical school makes a move on 16 year old Spencer. I get wanting to show complex issues that teenagers face, but I feel like they don’t make a big enough deal of the fact that these relationships are Bad and those men should face consequences. It’s incredibly clear as a college-aged person that these relationships are vile, but I feel like that’s just something you understand well once you’re the same age as the perpetrator. It’s not as obvious to the girls that are the same age as the victims that might think it’s “cool.”

There aren’t really repercussions for the relationships when they’re 14, and they’re mentioned very casually as if it holds the same weight as them kissing a 14 year old boy at summer camp. No one is like “oh, yeah it’s weird that a college boy was trying to kiss me when I was FOURTEEN.” The boyfriend is only evil because he might’ve killed someone, not because he’s a literal predator and societal threat. Then, with 16 year old Spencer, she’s blamed for the adult making a move on her. Even if she had initiated it, what sort of sane person reciprocates? Why is no one worried that a man in his twenties is caught kissing a 16 year old girl? That part always made me mad, but it’s especially infuriating when you consider that no one is protecting these girls. No one is saying I don’t think this is good for you. They just get blamed for it. It’s insane to me that the parents almost seem more mad at Spencer than the adult that made a move on her. No one really acknowledges how messed up that is.

Then there’s the Aria-Ezra relationship. Her friends are originally kind of against it, but it seems like it’s more so because he’s her teacher, not because he is yet another 20-something man kissing a 16 year old. The only voice of reason so far is Ezra’s friend that says yeah, Aria is cute, but she could land him in prison too. Aria is able to convince Ezra not to care about this surprisingly easily, as if he was hoping to hear something to refute what his friend had said. It’s hard hearing her keep saying how she’s mature and not a kid, because she is a kid, and no one is making this clear enough. It’s just something that she wouldn’t fully understand until she was older and realized, oh, I was a kid. I just think that the relationship is shown to be a little too normal. Yeah, they have to sneak around and deal with challenges, but it’s more “forbidden romance” than “adult takes advantage of teen.”

My main issue with these portrayals is the way that the teen girls watching the show are not given enough information that these relationships are not something to admire or strive for. Like I said, that’s obvious to adults, but it’s not as obvious to kids. I think that makes it a little harmful to almost normalize these types of relationships when half the girls are victims of these grown men without the show mentioning that they’re victims simply because of the relationships. Maybe it wouldn’t be as helpful to the plot to find a way to drill into viewers’ heads that These Relationships Are Horrible, but I think it’s necessary when your audience is teens. It has to be more clear to root against these types of relationships. Some teenagers might have enough media literacy and ability to critically analyze the story to understand that it’s bad, but not all of them do.

This is all not to say that I think this show is the reason that some girls thought it was normal to date older men. I just think that it didn’t do a good enough job, at least in the first season, at pointing out how bad this is. Yes, a lot of the men are bad because they cheated on an age-appropriate girlfriend or because they’re suspected of other crimes, but I think it’s also important to note that even without these external circumstances they are still bad people for what they’re doing to these teen girls. I often hate black and white thinking, but I think it applies here. Dating a minor = bad person. End of story. When part of your audience is minors, I think you have a responsibility to spell out for them that this is not something you should want in your own life. You should not think it’s cool to date your teacher because he is a criminal if he does so.

A lot of recent media has shown that it’s important to be very aware of what you’re showing to an audience if some of them are teens. Scenes were removed from shows like 13 Reasons Why for good reason. Teens can be smart, and I’m not saying they need to be babied. I’m just saying that creators should be more aware of how teens’ brains work as they’re growing into a mini adult (I say mini because no 18 year old actually feels like a full adult). Some things need to be laid out for them so they don’t have to learn the hard way. I for one am grateful for all the older girls online would say every August, “tip to incoming freshmen: that senior boy that wants to date you is not safe,” and things along those lines. I think having that in the back of my mind was important, even if I wasn’t actually in a situation like that.

As the years go on, it seems like a lot of younger girls are learning from those older than them and having the knowledge they need to be safe without having to go through the unsafe experience. Norms change, and people become aware. I think it’s important that the media these younger girls consume reflects this and makes a clear comment on when things characters experience are not okay. Although I loved PLL, I just don’t think they did enough to make sure younger girls knew that. Hopefully newer teen shows are able to do that a bit better for the sake of their audience.

Let me know what you think! This recap only really takes into account the first season of the show, so I’m curious to see if they ever backtrack to talk about this when the girls become older in the show. I can’t really remember if they touch on this once they’re adults in the show, but it would be interesting if they did.